Boundaries, Barriers, & Burnout
Maybe what we need to see in YTH Ministry right now is a more wholistic approach to ministry. I am referring to three principles this week.
BOUNDARIES
What I mean by this is a mentality that doesn’t seek balance in an extreme culture, but, seeks boundaries. It feels like balance is always changing and can swing out of control. However, boundaries are markers that are satellite property lines. And they become practices that protect our principles.
Here’s 1 area to set a boundary:
Wholistic Family Ministry
That we are all in for every sector of our lives (our personal lives, the family, and the Church). It is very difficult to compartmentalize a vocation that requires all of us at any moment. Students have problems at the most uncomfortable times for our personal lives or our families. So we are going to need to set boundaries such as ongoing quality time allows me immediate emergency time.
Our students must see us model family and ministry. Everything is falling apart around them. The YTH Ministry in the Church cannot fail them. We must define to this generation a biblical model of family that is willing to minister to them at the point of their need and in their context. Because of the brokenness of the family in society, one of the most effective ways we can impact teenagers is by modeling wholistic family ministry.
Here are four boundaries you can set for family and YTH Ministry:
Invite students into your home
Schedule at least one night a week for family devotions
Model family relations publicly - affection, affirmation, activity, anointing (spiritual disciplines)
Share the burden of ministry with the family
BARRIERS
There are so many barriers to healthy YTH Ministry. But there’s no way we can deal with those in one post. So let me give you what I believe is the most common fail in YTH Ministry that I’ve seen across the country.
A lack of collaboration.
Shared communitas is the value of the individual within the whole. What can one person teach me that could help shape my leadership? A simple illustration of this is the sermon. How many youth pastors write their own sermons? All alone and with no other angles. No youth leaders, no students, and certainly no other youth pastors.
One of my favorite questions for youth pastors is to ask them what they are teaching or preaching on. Without some kind of collaborative team, your limited vision, language, and thoughts are all that your students are going to hear. And that can become ideology and not truth. There is a university of information in the circles around us.
Why are leaders unwilling to reach out to others? It's easy:
They cannot take risks. Their ideas and systems have been the only ideas and systems they have known. There is a loss of the contribution that outside fellowship can bring to an organization.
They are not able to work with people outside their own mission. Because these leaders have a fear of and do not share many external relationships, collaboration isn't high on the way of doing things. Especially with leaders outside of your own denomination.
They do not delegate ownership. Some leaders can rarely engage others to share in the work. A leader who has no ancouragers or sons/daughters, or proteges can easily lose buy-in to the mission. External insights and opinions create greater vision and clear up blind-spots in the organization.
They are internal and not external in scope. No missional thinking. No contextualization. Everything is about the program and not the people. And because of this their vision, their language, and their thoughts have ceilings and fences placed around them. Stop standing at the door of the church and inviting the youth culture to come inside and listen to you. Get in the community and listen to them.
They are too proud. And this will destroy any ministry movement.
BURNOUT
There are many reasons for burnout. It could be total wellness (physical, mental, emotional, rest, nutritional, or even spiritual disciplines), a lack of delegation or teamwork, no goals or objectives, or even having no mentor or rabbi. But, let me give you one that I believe is most common in YTH Leadership.
Non-commitment to longevity.
If God placed a calling on your life to YTH Ministry, why would you think there’s a timeline on it and the hourglass is sifting away? Can you imagine if we had 100 YTH leaders over 50 years old in this nation. One hundred 50 year old YTH Leaders who were guiding YTH Ministry in every state across the nation. What a network of rabbis!
4 Reasons YTH Leaders Leave YTH Ministry:
There are more reasons than these, but, let’s look at some key reasons for a lack of longevity in YTH Ministry:
1. The Loss of Spiritual Health
The loss of spiritual vitality can be a reason that all ministers leave the ministry, but, it may be the the most important reason for YTH leadership. Because of the stress of YTH ministry, PERSONAL spiritual health is critical to longevity.
It is much easier for a YTH leader to address all of the problems in ministry when they are spiritually healthy. Spiritual formation - prayer, reading, fasting, worship, giving, rest, total wellness, and other spiritual disciplines increase ministry effectiveness exponentially!
2. Not Solving Problems
When YTH leaders neglect problem-solving there is an avalanche of pressure and work that builds up. Parental issues, budget issues, pastoral team issues, event-planning issues, and even personal family issues can all become like a tsunami crashing down upon us.
And when you get behind the mounting problems, it can be easy to move on to another opportunity or to simply quit. It is when we solve problems that we gain confidence and longevity. Wins create a joyful and positive atmosphere in YTH Ministry.
Here is a quick practical way to increase problem-solving: I often ask YTH leaders to write down a list of the problems they are facing - and to then write down a list of solutions to those problems. If you cannot come up with solutions, ask someone with more experience to help you.
What you will find is that there are always more solutions than problems!
3. A Lack of Currency
As a YTH leader gets older, he or she may start to question themselves. Maybe they start asking questions like, “Am I relevant?” Or, “Can I relate to the younger generation?” Maybe they entertain the thought, “Is it time for someone younger to lead?”
One of the things I do to stay current, about every 2-3 years, is to just simply reinvent myself at every stage of ministry. It takes effort, but, I simply discover or rediscover myself every few years by looking at a certain gift that I have and working on improving or highlighting that gift for a season.
I have found that often it is not God leading a YTH pastor to leave YTH Ministry, it is discouragement from a lack of currency and the inability to relate to the world of the adolescent.
Remember, a YTH leader does not age- or phase- out of YTH Ministry simply because of age.
4. Losing Your Relationship to Students
This may seem similar to the last reason on remaining current or relevant. But, this relational ethic is completely different. What I mean by this is losing our proximity and conversation and relationship with teenagers.
When YTH leaders are not in the context or setting of teenagers, it is easy to lose the love of YTH culture, miss the personal stories that make up each student, and then we become statistical and sterile in our approach to teenagers.
Ministry is about relationship. And relationship in YTH ministry may be at a whole other level of importance when it comes to longevity in ministry. The greater our relationship with teens, and not just the systems and tasks of day-to-day YTH ministry, the greater our emotional return on the daily for our work.
We cannot forget about the story behind every teenager. And I believe relationship and proximity to teenagers and their story will light a fire of passion and purpose and hope under a tired, disorganized, or pressured YTH leader.
Let me challenge you. The more time you spend with teenagers, the longer you will be in YTH Leadership. And the more time you spend with your adult leaders, the quicker you will be out of YTH Ministry.
Finally.
Let me ask you a few questions to close this post. When is the last time you cried for a teenager? Not cried because of a teenager. But when is the last time you cried for a teenager? Do you know their names? Do you know their stories?
Ask yourself these questions on a regular basis. And you will be well on your way to healthy YTH Leadership.