Talking With Teenagers About Sex And Sexuality
One of the most important discussions we can have right now with teenagers is the conversations on The Sexual Revolution. And, there is something we can do as YTH leaders to become more adept at the conversation of sex and sexuality.
Leaders ask me all the time how they can become confident discussing sex and sexuality with their students. Listen, it definitely takes work. But you can do a few things that will help you become confident in discussing difficult topics like this.
We must use both grace and truth. Grace is love and relationship. And truth is love and theology. They go hand-in-hand. Grace and truth are king and queen. An inseparable marriage. And we must look this world in the eye and tell them the truth in love.
The Teen’s World
Looking at the world of teens today, you can imagine the kind of conversations that are taking place regularly between teens and leaders. The context of teenagers is a crazy and wild world. This is the world teenagers are growing up in: The findings are remarkable...
• 77% of students feel physical, mental, or verbal abuse in high school
• The third leading cause of death between the ages of 15-24 is suicide
• 1 in 3 girls is abused by a boyfriend, 1 in every 200 teens is doing self-harm
• Almost 16 million students live in a home where a parent is physically abused
• Gen Z has the largest number of atheists in the history of America
• 76% of Christian teens believe gender is your birth sex
• 48% of all Gen Z believe gender is your birth sex
• 77% of students feel physical, mental, or verbal abuse in high school
• 1 in 3 girls is abused by a boyfriend
• 7 out of 10 seniors in high school will have had oral sex
When it comes to relationship with the teenage culture, most importantly, YTH leaders must do diligent work with our theology and our sociology. This will give us authority in their life.
Some Important Questions
Ask yourself these important questions:
1. Do you know their world? Get up-to-date on their music, movies, language, causes they are into, or social media 411. Understand what’s going on in their culture.
2. Do you know your students? Find out about their hobbies, school situation, jobs, sports team, or the family situation. Understand what’s going on in their personal lives. Do you know their parents? That will help tremendously.
3. Are we current in field? We should be speaking with other youth leaders. Find out what is common or what others might be doing in youth ministry right now.
4. Am I listening to students and hearing how they feel or think about something? Instead of doing more talking as youth leaders, let students talk. Become better at asking questions. About there home, their friends, their team, their homework, or their dreams.
5. When is the last time you told your students you love them? Not a passing statement, but, deep heart-felt declaration. A youth leader’s unconditional love can guard students from committing sexual sin.
6. We need to understand the Terminology. Our students are living in an ever-changing world when it comes to sexuality. They know the terms, language, and the latest on sexuality weekly. With everything changing, youth leaders must stay current and be able to guide students through the mess.
Here are a few things you can do to stay up-to-date:
Follow students on social media and watch what is happening, take one day a month and listen to pop music and you’ll see where the language is coming from, read and watch the IMDB shorts on movies and series that teenagers are watching, and follow these influencers/researchers: Barna, ThoughtCo, Teen Vogue, Pew, AMA Journal of Ethics, TED, and TIME magazine to stay current on culture.
Additionally, every YTH leader should understand a basic understanding of the non-binary and binary views of sexuality.
The non-binary view of sexuality prevalent today is a mathematic term meaning more than two. As it relates to sexuality, it is a cultural viewpoint that adds a ‘third or many ways’ or evolving and transitional viewpoints of male or female sexuality. It allows for and introduces other options instead of what is considered default/binding.
The binary view of sexuality is from the mathematic term used for only two symbols in an equation. As it relates to sexuality, it is the scriptural viewpoint of male and female sexuality. It is a scriptural viewpoint that is derived from the Bible to define a designed and purposed sexuality from creation. We have to be able to understand and to speak the language of the day.
Finally
Hopefully this has been helpful as you prepare yourself as a YTH leader. I will take work, but, just a little effort in these practical areas will give yo the information you need to prepare yourself to have these important discussions with teenagers. Because, I don’t want to have the answers to the questions no one is asking. I don’t want to be irrelevant as a YTH leader.