3 Challenges for Pastor's Kid's (PK's)
This week on ythology live we deal with three challenges to Pastor’s Kids. What a great resource Pastor‘s Kids are. I believe they are some of America’s greatest young leaders being raised in a leader ship lab.
Here are 3 challenges that I have for PK’s:
1. “You are not a snowflake“
Society calls Millennials and Gen Z snowflakes. That they melt away under pressure. And they are fleeting.
But I don’t believe that. I believe you are resilient, unique, and adaptable. That you do not have to melt under pressure. I think your generation is stronger than people say you are. Instead of being broke under pressure, you can be built under pressure.
Turn the pressure into privilege. It’s kind of like coal being turned into diamonds through the incredible process of pressure.
We have to learn as PK’s that difficult conditions are not supposed to destroy us. When things get difficult, we do not exit the situation. We were made for difficulty. When things get difficult we enter the situation. God has a unique calling on our lives. Hardship in the ministry setting is merely there to shape us into people who use the grace that was given to us, to minister to others that same grace.
Let’s look at another challenge to PK’s.
2. “You can turn the fishbowl into an ocean”
The fishbowl is the idea of the glass house or that fishbowl each of us live in as ministry kids. Everyone can see us as they walk into the room and stare at the fishbowl. It can feel like there is no privacy of place to get away. But if you do a few things you can turn the fishbowl into an ocean. Where you can escape everyone’s view.
Learn to Forgive
The first thing we can do to enlarge the bowl we are living in is to forgive. Don’t hold grudges. Given the position and the setting of ministry, we are going to be on display. And this only makes us open to the opinions and the comments of others. It comes with the territory - so learn to place less value on the words of man, and more value on the words of God.
Think about the other PK’s in life. They are under pressure also.
Pro-athlete Kids - do you think Michael Jordan’s children, or Tom Brady’s kids, or even Serena Williams kids have it easy? What about Politician Kids - do you think our President’s children have had it easy? And don’t forget Performer Kid’s - icons in Hollywood have set the bar unrealistically high for their children. As PK’s, we are not the only one’s on display or under pressure.
Learn to Sabbath
Living free of bitterness and grudges leads to rest and peace. A sabbath. And when we sabbath it will expand the fishbowl into an ocean because you are not focused upon such a small negative part of ministry. Rest will help you be comfortable enough in the fishbowl to escape the pressure of the people who are watching you so closely. By resting and focusing upon mental health, you will be able to concentrate on so many other beautiful things that make up the ministry.
Learn to be Authentic
My kids have said many times that our family was the same at church as we were in the community, at school, or at home. Nothing frees you more than authenticity. The word integrity comes from the root word integer, which means “unmixed”. It is a math term for two whole numbers - literally, to be unmixed or whole. I think genuineness creates space for you to be whoever God has created you to be. And the opinions and words of others do not keep you corralled or bound in a small place.
Let’s look at the last challenge to PK’s.
3. “You have a unique calling“
A calling can be seen as a call to minister and a call to ministry. Everyone is called to minister. But only a few are called to ministry. You could define these two terms further by using the field (minister) and the office (ministry). Ephesians 4.11-12 speak to the difference of the two terms: “So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.”
The unique calling is upon the few who are called to the five-fold ministry to prepare the rest who are called to works of service to minister. That doesn’t make us better. It makes us more responsible.
One more thing about the calling is the idea of a familial calling. Similar to the kings or the Levites in the Old Testament, there is a family succession of service in the kingdom. God did not just call your parents, he called the children to serve also.
We raised our kids to understand this simple concept - that God has called us as a family but if He un-calls you we will support you.
All of my kids accepted that call to ministry. Being raised in the presence does that - it conditions us to His calling to build the church through the vocational ministry, and, it conditions us to be the few who build the rest to do the work of ministry.
Finally
Every athlete understands this simple principle of “no pain no gain”. Every soldier values the difficulty of basic training. And every farmer knows that unless a grain of wheat goes into the ground and dies, it cannot bear fruit. These are great principles to apply to the difficulty that comes to our life as PK’s. I challenge every PK reading this to think through the privilege and the responsibility of being raised in the presence.
Because it is the presence that shapes us more than anything else in life.