Can I Have My Virginity Back?
Let’s talk about sex and losing our virginity. Virginity is defined in the Webster Dictionary as, “A person who has not had sex; someone who is chaste; fresh and unspoiled.” Biblically, losing our virginity is about the word fornication, or, having sex outside of marriage. Fornication then is what we will call losing virginity outside of marriage.
Now, I realize we live in a progressive society and many people may not have the same moral belief that I will assume in this post. That is, the assumption that sex before marriage is a sin, and, a relational issue for individuals in many ways. See the following scriptures for a thorough understanding of fornication (Matthew 5, 15, 19, 1 Corinthians 5, 1 Corinthians 6, and Hebrews 13 to list a few). There is no ambiguity in scripture, but, there is plenty of debate in culture. So, assuming that fornication is a sin is part of the reason someone might have feelings of guilt, sorrow, or disappointment for losing their virginity.
Losing Virginity
If you are alive, you’re probably interested in sex. But let’s deal with the specific question of recovery and healing from sexual sins such as fornication that causes someone to lose their virginity. Both the male or the female. Each is giving away something at fornication. But, being a sinner or being broke is not an end. Anything broke can be fixed.
When a man has sex before marriage and commits fornication he loses something. He loses or gives away the seed that is meant for a marriage relationship between a man and a woman. Aside from breaking the biblical principle, there is also a physical loss by the male.
Often when we talk about losing virginity we focus on the woman. But losing virginity is as much a part of giving away something versus something being taken.
When a woman has sex there is often a physical puncture of the hymen layer of light skin that lines the vagina. Some would define losing virginity as this moment the hymen is broken. I think it goes beyond this and includes non-consensual sex, personal fondling of sexual organs, or even no hymen at all. But, let’s use sexual intercourse here as sex before marriage or fornication.
Although the hymen can be broken through these above situations or exercise or tampon use, it is normally broken during sexual intercourse or penetration of the hymen and the vagina. So, losing one’s virginity through the act of sexual intercourse would normally break the hymen. Even though breaking of the hymen layer is not the purest definition of losing someone’s virginity.
So many things other than intercourse can wear the hymen away, including horseback riding, biking, gymnastics, using tampons, fingering, and masturbation, which basically leads to "breaking" the hymen without ever having sex. Some women are even born without hymens. -Teen Vogue, 2019
Why is this so important in answering the question? Because this act cannot be undone. And often people want to have their virginity restored. Remember, we are talking about the physical here and not the spiritual.
The Question
Let’s deal directly with the question at hand, “Can I have my virginity back once I’ve lost it?” The short answer is “no”. Once someone has had sex the act cannot be reversed. By either offender in the relationship. However, once someone has had sex outside of marriage, they can have their purity back!
This is the power of the gospel and the good news. That once we have sinned before God and broken His commands, we can be cleansed. Cleansing is the message here. Look at the following scriptures:
1 John 1.8-9, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Psalm 103.10-13, “He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.”
Do you see the emphasis of cleansing in the gospel? That is what we mean by restoring our purity even if we cannot have our virginity back.
Finally
Unfortunately, we must live with the aftermath of our decisions. And considering sexual sins of fornication, the aftermath is irreversible when it comes to the physical act of losing our virginity. But, what is offered is our freedom from sexual sins and a thorough cleansing and forgiveness!
The power of the gospel and the good news is restoring and healing to those who are caught in sin. We cannot undo an act that has been done, but, the basis of Christianity is complete forgiveness and cleansing of the consequences of our sin.
So, remember this powerful truth if you have committed sexual sin and lost your virginity. You may not have your virginity back, but, you may have your purity back!