Mentoring and YTH Ministry
Discipleship is our main responsibility in YTH Ministry. It is the core of everything we do. Whether it is our administration, meetings, events, outreach, worship, small groups, or preaching, discipleship should be at the center of our work.
Theoretical
Mentoring is really one definition in a family of pop terms that relate to discipleship. These terms include coaching, apprenticeship, internships, shadowing, and residency.
Discipleship is the development or the teaching of biblical principles between a teacher and a learner. Discipleship is the process that a person or follower of Christ goes through to learn the doctrines or the teachings of Christianity.
Look at the words of Christ on this topic of discipleship.
“Go into all the world and make disciples” (Matthew 28). “And He called those that He loved to himself and told them to be with Him” (Mark 3). It is the main emphasis of Christ for the church.
When we talk about discipleship, there is a rabbinical root in its meaning. I think many of these other family of terms we have listed here above capture the importance of what discipleship really means. It is accountability. It is relational capital. Discipleship goes beyond just teaching and preaching and into the relationship realm.
Here’s a personal definition for mentoring:
‘The intimate accountability of a teacher and a pupil.' It is 'the familial editing of a father (mother) to a son (daughter).' It is 'the close editing setting where lessons are taught and actions are corrected.' Mentoring is proximal. It is all about accountability and relationship. Mentoring requires closeness or ‘withness’.
What is critical to YTH Ministry is that we do not lose the importance of discipleship - no matter what we call it.
Practical
One of the things I am asked on a weekly basis is what I would do if I was a local YTH Pastor today. I love this question. And I answer it the same way every time. I really wouldn’t do anything different. I haven’t done anything different in my work now the last 36 years.
Instead of trying to do things differently, we need to try doing things better.
The wheel is the wheel for a reason. It is round. We may like to create wider wheels or larger wheels or different colored wheels. But a wheel is still round. We are always trying to find out the new thing. Instead of doing things different, we must do the things we are doing better. And discipleship is the one thing we must not mess with. It is like the idea of The Moderation of Re-invention - being careful to not lose the critical creative DNA of something and losing its value.
When it comes to mentoring, here are some practical ways to keep the emphasis upon discipleship:
1. A personal mission statement is key to the mentor and the mentee in order to keep them on course with objectives. This also helps so that you are not in relationship with people who do not have the same passion and interest as you do. There is a reason I do not mentor business majors. And why I mentor YTH Ministry majors. And this mission statement or packet can be a great guide to a successful mentoring relationship.
2. Creating a mission or vision packet with all of the necessary information to make mentoring productive is the first thing you should do. It will include personal information, spiritual assessment, and mentoring meeting information. Every one of my mentees gets this packet with all kinds of instruction. Including the following processes.
3. Communication of the entire process and goals will allow for definition of the objectives and defining the win for both of you. Do not enter into a mentoring relationship without the entire process in mind. Use this blog and information (and the packet above) periodically to do mid-course correction and make sure you are accomplishing what you want to.
4. You should be pursued by the Protégé/Mentee and not have to worry about the interest of the person you are meeting with. If they do not show commitment, then mentoring is not for them. I do not chase my protege. If there is no hunger, the process will not work. There must be a sense of loyalty and interest from the them. Ask these questions to determine if you are in a healthy mentoring relationship:
Are they on time for the meetings? Or are they cancelling meetings?
How much conversation is happening?
What is the attitude of the protege or the mentee when you are correcting them?
Are assignments done if they are given?
Am I seeing progress in certain areas that we are talking about?
5. Know when to be finished with a mentoring relationship so it doesn’t produce co-dependency. I have rarely gone more than 6 months on a bi-weekly basis. And the norm is 4-5 months. You can accomplish plenty of growth in this amount of time. You really only need to address about 3-4 issues in that 4 months or so and that will be plenty of change to deal with.
I have done long-term mentoring with very few people. That is for sons and daughters or those that you have great chemistry with and a burden for. But you cannot manage too many of these relationships. That is why we need more people in the mentoring process.
6. Be creative with the meetings to gain an edge. The place, time, setting, and time-frame are all very important to the success of the relationship. Mix it up often to shock the meetings. A creative place to meet (lunch - ball game - mall – airport), cancel a meeting short-term, change the topic, bring in another mentor, or even watch a video or vlog together.
Here are some practical meeting ideas:
30 minute meetings
Planned agenda
Privacy for discussion of sensitive topics
Break up the location if you need to shock the meetings
Ask another mentor to join for a different perspective
Specific talk will happen in a specific place - and if the place isn’t exciting or creative, the discussion might follow that vibe.
Finally
The success of being a great YTH leader will depend upon our ability to do great discipleship. We should all be making sure that the measurement of our YTH Ministry is focused upon theology and teaching. When we see that Gen Z has a 4% biblical worldview, we must assume that our families and the church, and YTH Ministry in general, have failed this generation at mentoring and discipleship.
If discipleship is the development or the teaching of biblical principles between a teacher and a learner, then we should be producing followers of Christ in YTH Ministry. Hopefully these theoretical and practical principles will help you focus upon the important role of discipleship in our work.