Live Podcast With Teenagers In Oregon
What are the top issues in the teen world?
Here is a look into some of the questions that teenagers have when they get a chance to explore cultural and theological topics. For this blog post, I will post the question from this weekend in Oregon with hundreds of teenagers and give you a look into our conversations.
Here are a few questions that came out of the Q and A in Oregon recently:
What is your opinion on boys wanting to become girls and girls wanting to become boys?
Every time we are in this setting someone asks this question. Although I believe that the family is the number one issue in adolescent culture, the sexual revolution is right there. Here are a few thoughts on this question.
Gender stretch or gender exploration or gender imagination is normal to this generation. The problem is that teens are not surrounded by bible-based teaching to help them with these issues. To be clear, we must get our gender theology from the biblical definition and not the cultural definition. The cultural definition is changing and ever-broadening. But, there is no confusion in the bible on gender types. Genesis 1-3 define gender with two terms - male and female. There is no room in the bible for a non-binary (many types) definition of sexuality that explores dozens of gender types.
Owning The Middle
What happens when we move away from the biblical definition and into a cultural definition is trying to create a box for “other”. This causes the battle we see today over gender types. The reason we have lost the binary definition of gender (2 types) in the scriptures is because we have stretched and explored and imagined a whole new category of sexuality. When we lose the sanctity of sexuality and humankind, we lose a working definition and framework for morality. Not just from a conception argument, but, from a humankind argument.
This “owning of the middle”, as ESPN promoted in the Britney Griner interview several years ago, has created a cultural milieu in the battle for gender identity. Gone are the two moral pillars of male and female sexuality considered to be the standardization for human species designation. What once was a very clear designation is now up for debate.
Our relationship with culture is going to be important. When we have this discussion with our friends we must get them to see the difference between the cultural and the biblical argument. This is why I believe that Gen Z can have a huge affect upon their generation if they are able to redefine sexuality back into the biblical framework.
What can we do as teenagers in our homes when our parents are fighting so much?
Here is the number one problem in the world today - the breakdown of the family. We took a poll in this setting with 400 teenagers in Oregon and found that not even half of the students in attendance lived in a traditional or classic family with both biological parents married and living in the home. This is customary in my travels.
This is not to say that all traditional homes are healthy and all blended or broken homes are unhealthy. I have seen the opposite many times. But I wanted the students to see the reality we are living in. It helps to understand that parents and children are not perfect. So, how do we redeem the home as teenagers?
To answer this question there are two approaches every teenager must take:
First, every teenager must work on their own spiritual health. A healthy teenager will be able to affect the home better than an unhealthy teenager.
turn your bedroom into a prayer room
change your music and movies
forgiveness in the home will cover a multitude of transgressions
fill the home with worship
Second, you must begin to pray and fast for your family. I know that sounds like an easy answer. But, we have to give the Holy Spirit a chance to transform your home. Never underestimate the power of prayer and fasting. Here are a few things that will help you:
I know teenagers who have prayed and fasted weekly
pray over your parents room
ask to pray at meals
constantly talk about prayer and believe that it can change
Can anyone from any background be born again?
I think we all know this answer. I have seen the worst students who were the farthest away from God come to Christ when no one thought it could happen. As YTH leaders we must pray that the Holy Spirit will help us to find the farthest teenager in our reach. This has been my prayer for many years knowing that if I can reach the farthest then I can reach the closest. The grace of God has no limits and no heights or depths that can keep it from reaching a soul.
It was great hearing the students in this setting shout “yes” when I asked them if the grace of God can reach anyone! When I asked the students to raise their hand if they would categorize themselves as “unreachable” about 1/3 of the crowd raised their hand. I have no doubt that God’s grace is limitless.
What is the greatest thing that God has done for me?
This has never been asked before. And yet, it was an easy answer.
When Jane passed away 4 years ago, God’s presence was so real. I never once doubted Him being with me through the past 4 years. Not one time. God spoke to me very clearly shortly after Jane had passed a powerful promise that He has kept. While praying one night in the days after Jane died, God spoke clearly to me these words: “I was with you when you were married and I will be with you when you are single.”
God’s presence is the greatest thing to ever happen to me.
If someone takes their life is that a sin? And will they go to heaven?
The easy answer is “yes” and “no”. In other words, suicide is not always a sin. It could be depending on the circumstances. But, because of the mental health issue, not every suicide should be labeled a sin. We cannot give broad sweeping answers to such difficult situations.
The sanctity of life is a basic and foundational biblical truth. However, I have known many people who were not in their right mind and desperate without help who have attempted to take their life. Fortunate for them they did not succeed. Unfortunately, I have also known others who were in their right mind and simply were operating out of anger or bitterness who simply wanted to end their life. It is important that we error on the side of grace. Remember that Satan is a deceiver and often times a person could be led astray to end their life. But, in the last moments the same person could easily feel sorrow for what they are doing and turn to God in a moment of repentance.
As far as the eternal part of this question, this will be up to God to judge people in their last moments. People who have cried out to God in desperation before their final breath, will be welcomed by God gracefully into an eternity with Christ.
What is the best way for me to bring my LGBTQ+ friends to Christ?
Because there isn’t enough space and time to deal with this, I am assuming that homosexuality is a sin with this answer. Search this blog for a scriptural framework for this stance and look for the upcoming book on YTH and Sexuality coming in 2020.
Foremost, as believers we must recognize that we are the representation of God to our culture and society. Our response to the sin in this world will be important to the sinners response to the grace of the gospel. We cannot blush or flinch in the face of sinners or their lifestyles. We must look them in the eye and smile and love them. All people are closer than you think to repentance.
Here are two things that we can do to reach our friends in the LGBTQ+ community:
First, love people unconditionally. You can still hold to your biblical values and morality and love people unconditionally. You do not have to shed your values at the door of relationship. Christianity is both truth and grace. Not one or the other. Grace should be our first response and truth should be our second response in building relationships with sinners.
Second, go out of your way to understand a persons context. Relationship is the first step to understand the language and the terms and the framework of a persons beliefs. Stop labeling people sinners and you will be able to build a better relationship with them. After all, we too were all sinners saved by grace.
Join us next week for part two of this great live teenage audience.